What Could Have Been
by story-untold15
Summary: Toby watched the only maternal figure in his life die. A brief look at Sweeney Todd from his POV. Title could be better but I suck at titles. Rated T just to be safe.


**I finally had the time and motivation to write a oneshot, even though this isn't exactly how I thought it would turn out. I hope you like it anyway. **

** I do not own the wonderfully marvelous Sweeney Todd, however much I may wish… Sigh…**

** Anyway, comments are greatly appreciated.**

Toby couldn't remember what having a family meant. He supposed he did have one at some point in his life, but that phase was cut short before his first conscious memory. Since then, he had been living from one day to the next in the desolate conditions of the work house, then through Signor Pirelli's constant abuse as they traveled to various cities attempting to con people out of their money.

And then they stopped in London, where it had all begun for him. There was no place quite like London. Pirelli and he had been caught in their act and quickly challenged to a competition by another barber, which his master had lost, much to Toby's dismay. Pride wounded, Pirelli had traveled to the barber's workshop to demand… well, Toby wasn't entirely sure. But that event, his master never stepping down those wooden stairs leading up to the barbershop again, led to what was perhaps the best time of his life.

He wasn't sure if what he had could have been qualified as a family. His boss, Mrs. Lovett, was as close as a boy like him could get to an actual mother. She'd given him a place to stay and kept him well supplied with alcohol. In return, he worked in her pie shop, providing paying customers with easily the best meat pies in town. Mrs. Lovett was almost kind, and Toby, who had never been spared a kind word in the course of his short life, viewed her behavior towards him as almost saintly, especially compared to his previous master.

And yet, the almost perfection his life had attained was tainted by whatever went on upstairs, above the pie shop. He often watched Mrs. Lovett scurry up those steps to see Mr. Todd with a nagging wariness he was finding more difficult to suppress by the day. Mr. Todd was doing something. He knew it. He often watched for the customers Mr. Todd took on to make their journey down the stairs, but he never saw it. He mentioned it to Mrs. Lovett once, but she had mumbled something about him having missed them and told him sharply to get back to work.

Toby saw the affection in her eyes when she spoke of Mr. Todd. Already feeling protective of her, he carefully watched the sullen barber for a similar look, but found nothing. He wished she could see what he saw, but love seemed to blind her.

Not that he cared all that much. While he was around, Mrs. Lovett, the woman who he gradually began calling mum, wouldn't come to any harm. He even worked up the courage to confess this to her one night. He would always remember the feeling of her fingers stroking his hair, the first maternal gesture he'd ever received.

Of course, after that she had sent him down to what he saw now as the fiery pits of hell itself. So soon after he'd vowed she'd never be hurt while he was around, his promise began to unravel around him. When he found the finger in the pie he'd decided to sample, the only thing clear to him was that he would do very well to run.

Which he did. The sewers were vast, providing him with many a safe hiding place. Luckily Toby was small. Curled up in a hidden corner, he listened to his "mum's" voice echo down the tunnel, reminding him vaguely of bells. It tempted him to come from hiding, but somehow he knew this was no longer the woman he called mum. For the moment at least, Mr. Todd had changed her. Changed her into some horrible monster that covered for a murderer by baking the victims into food for the general public. But she hadn't actually murdered anybody now, had she? This justified her actions just a little bit in Toby's eyes, for the last thing he wanted for the only caring person in his life to be such a terrible sinner. This whole thing was really Mr. Todd's fault. Mrs. Lovett was a good person. She had to be! Only a good person would take a boy like him off the streets, feed him and clothe him, and perhaps even love him. Mr. Todd was the evil that had invaded their lives. He had to keep believing that, and he had no idea why.

He knew they were both in danger now. Mr. Todd had that murderous look in his eyes. Toby held his breath as they passed. Obviously they would give up their search. He heard them waltzing around the furnace. A sick feeling churned his stomach as he clambered up to get a better view.

Mrs. Lovett was staring into Mr. Todd's eyes with that loving affection that Toby had never understood. He only knew that the barber was incapable of looking that way. Perhaps once he had, to the Lucy he'd always heard whispered conversations about, often when Mrs. Lovett muttered angrily to herself whilst sweeping the bakery. But he would never achieve that look again. No, Mr. Todd's eyes were the eyes of the devil Toby had only met in his worst nightmares.

He could anticipate what was coming next almost the second before it did. Toby's eyes snapped shut for a split second as Mr. Todd threw open the furnace door and shoved the only mother he'd ever known inside. Her screams tore through the ears he tried so desperately to cover, leaving a fiery trail of anger echoing in his brain that wouldn't fade for years to come.

The worst part of it was, she'd never seen it coming. Love had blinded her. She had thought that their lives would be changed as soon as Mr. Todd killed the judge. Well, Toby thought bitterly, she was right.

He thought of her pale flesh reduced to nothing but ashes and had to fight the urge to be sick right there in the sewer. When he chanced a glance up through the grate, Mr. Todd was bent over the dead beggar woman, her blood staining his hands.

Taking a deep breath, Toby pushed aside the grate. He wanted nothing more then to see this man dead, for taking away the one person in the world who ever might have loved him. The reason he had broken his oath. Anger and bloodlust filled his eyes.

Toby didn't feel human, stalking across the stone floor, razor in hand. Mr. Todd never turned around. He would have liked to see the look in his eyes as he took his life away the way the demonic barber had taken so many others. But he realized just before he committed the deed that he would find no fear in the man's eyes. He no longer had anything to live for.

Perhaps, Toby thought, it would be more punishment to allow him to live with whatever he'd thought he'd done by killing the beggar woman. But there was no time to take back his decision. He almost didn't feel his hand drag the blade across the devil's throat.

A curtain of blood encased the man's neck. He looked for a second at Toby with what could only be described as relief before he died. Toby didn't spare him a second glance. He did gaze for a second at the furnace, heart filled with regret for what could have been. Tears in his eyes, he threw the razor to the floor and emerged from hell to the surface, which at the moment wasn't any more appealing.


End file.
